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The Golden Ticket...

No I'm not talking about Willy Wonka...but the sheer excitement of seeing the Trojan Magnum condom wrapper vs. the piece of paper that admits you into a chocolate wonderland might surprisingly hold the same weight. Our society, especially in the black culture have placed this "golden ticket" on such a high pedestal that it seems to be the only discussion about condoms that we ever have anymore...if mentioned at all. As a matter of fact, I often have men proudly coming to me only looking for Magnums instead of any other condoms or barriers. On the other hand, women barely stop by to chat about condoms let alone grab some for their own possession. There needs to be more discussions around condom use in our community or teenage pregnancy and STD rates will continue to rise!

This post is going to briefly explain the different barriers that allow us to enjoy sexual pleasure without the concern of pregnancy or contracting STDs. Penis condoms aka male condoms; Internal condoms aka female condoms; and dental dams are common barriers that are combined with lube to prevent many sexual health concerns. Then we'll end debunking the Magnum Myth which shamefully plagues the sex community.


The new name, penis condom, is used to be inclusive of anyone who has a penis regardless of gender identity. These condoms can also be used on sex toys that resemble a penis including strap-ons. There are an infinite variety of condoms including flavored, ultra thin, ribbed, studded, warming, cooling, rainbow hued and glow in the dark to entice healthy sexual activity.

When picturing a penis condom, the common lubricated latex condoms come to mind. These condoms are used for vaginal, anal, and oral sex (mouth to penis). There are two common ways to put on a condom that unfortunately most women don't know how to perform. So let's learn together shall we...

How to put a condom on with your hands...

I bet you're wondering "But Cupcake Noire, how else can you put a condom on besides your hands?" Great question! Let's find out from Angel...

How to put a condom on with your mouth aka "cheeking"...

During oral sex (mouth to penis), if you don't like the taste of condoms or lube, non-lubricated flavored penis condoms are ideal. Flavored condoms are not always recommended for vaginal nor anal sex due to the bacterial and pH effect of sugar on the vulva, vagina and anus.

If you are allergic to latex condoms, there are other alternatives including polyurethane, polyisoprene, and lambskin condoms. Polyurethane condoms are made with a thin plastic but don't fit as tightly as the latex condom which could make it slip off. Polyisoprene condoms are made of a synthetic latex that doesn't contain the protein that creates the allergy. These condoms tend to be stretchier than regular latex condoms. Lambskin condoms are actually made from sheep's intestines which prevents the latex allergy but are expensive. This is the only alternative condom on the market that only prevents pregnancy since the tiny holes in the condom make room for the passage of STDs.


Internal condoms aka female condoms got their name to include any gender identities with a vagina. Also, these condoms can be used for both vaginal and anal sex. Made with a nitrile sheath and outer ring and polyurethane inner ring, they are great for sexual partners with latex allergies. Most importantly these condoms are the only option for women to wear which creates self-control, liberation, and empowerment.

Internal condoms for vaginal use...

Internal condoms for anal sex...

As mentioned earlier, internal condoms can also be used for any human receiving anal sex. Check out this video that explains internal condom use for anal sex between two men but is directly applicable to everyone.

Unfortunately, as of recently internal condoms are now back to being accessible by prescription only. Check out the fc2 female condom website for more information including how to get a prescription and free condoms here.


Dental Dams (mouth condoms), made with either latex or polyurethane, are used for oral sex on the vulva or anus to prevent the spread of STDs. Most dental dams come flavored for anyone who doesn't enjoy the regular taste.

"But Cupcake Noire, what if I don't have access to the store bought dental dams?" Once again that's a great question! Feel free to use saran wrap even though its ability to prevent STDs is not yet supported. Penis condoms can also be used as dental dams by following the directions provided here.


Now to address the abnormally thick and long...elephant in the room (sorry couldn't resist). The Trojan Magnum Myth is that most if not all penises (especially black penises) should need a "golden ticket". The truth of the matter is that the regular sized penis condom can fit on a human fist almost to the elbow. When you catch my colleague at the right happy hour or holiday party, he can also show you his "blown up condom on head" routine. According to Esquire magazine, the only erect penis in need of a Magnum has a length of 8 inches or more and width of 2.13 to 2.3 inches in girth with a tapered base for a secured fit. Any penis that doesn't meet these measurements need to find a condom that fits them properly because there's nothing more embarrassing than a condom that falls off or breaks during sex. Society needs to stop perpetuating the cultural stereotypes attached to penis size i.e. black people having the largest penis.The article gives helpful tips on how to measure an erect penis traditionally with a ruler or unconventionally with an empty toilet paper roll, click here.

A few things to remember...

1. Water and silicone based lubricant can be put inside and outside of these barriers for increased protection and pleasure... Refresh your memory with my past blog post about lube here.

2. Most condoms and dental dams can be purchased at drug stores and sex shops or provided for free at local sexual health clinics, health departments, physician offices, and Planned Parenthoods. Some other non-traditional free condom providers could include bars, clubs, hair salons, and barber shops.

3. Feel free to watch your sexual partner to monitor their condom use skills or further arouse them by putting it on yourself since you're an expert after reading this post.

4. Only store condoms in room temperature while avoiding wallets and glove compartments.

5. Please inspect every single wrapper for holes, rips, tears etc and always check the expiration date.

6. Never use the same condom more than once. For example, after using a condom for vaginal sex discard it and put on a new condom for another round. This also applies when switching between the anus and vulva during oral sex with dental dams.

7. Don't use too many novelty condoms if you are concerned about pregnancy or STDs due to their focus on the special effect instead of the maximized protection i.e. glow in the dark.

In conclusion, penis condoms, internal condoms, and dental dams are always a healthy yet sexy idea for oral, vaginal, and especially anal sex. Now go have some fun!

Out with Mammy, Jezebel, and Sapphire...In with Cupcake Noire!

XOXO, Shawna

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